..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
