On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
