Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
