i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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