I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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