I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
