Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize