you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
