can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
should my penis look like a turkey
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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