Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
