You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
