i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
