u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
