Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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