If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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