I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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