fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
