That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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