Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Hippo gnu deer
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
