Your mouth is God's brothel.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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