You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
