For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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