like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize