I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
