How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
