Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
