I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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