So drunk its hurt
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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