I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
FUCK WHALES
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
