so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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