To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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