I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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