I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
vagina is talking i cant
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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