Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
