I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize