Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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