He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
