we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize