apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
