Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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