Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize