just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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