He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
