garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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