I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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