Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
