Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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