Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
