i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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