He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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