My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize