dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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