I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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