Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
then he tried to convert me to islam
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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