Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
