So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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