Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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