i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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