Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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