doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize