Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
