just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
