The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
