in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
