Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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