is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
