drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
