my phone needs a breathalizer
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
