Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
