In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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