you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize