Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
