i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
and i looked up. we had an audience...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
