I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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